I have been dating the same guy for over three years (and same-sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states) so the question of getting married was definitely on both of our minds.
Many months before it actually happened, Jason decided he was going to be the one to propose to me. (There are no rules here, but we talked about it, so it wasn't a complete surprise.)
First, he asked my parents for their blessing and cross-checked with my extended family to make sure there were no timing conflicts. (Whatta man, whatta man, what a mighty good man!) Then, he started vision-boarding epic proposal ideas. This is the most fun part.
Jason popped the question on November 6, 2016 (#11616) in the Miami Design District in front of the totally Instagrammable Palm Court. Since Miami was the very first vacation we went on as a couple, it had special meaning to us.
It was totally perfect in every way (at least, for us). There are no right or wrong ways to propose, but these are what I've learned to be the New Rules of Engagement:
- Ask Parents For Their Blessing - asking parents for their blessing instead of the centuries-old tradition of asking for permission, lays the groundwork for equality in the relationship. Whether you are close to your partner's parents or not, you're going to want to give them a courtesy call and ask for their blessing. Who knows? You may also need their financial support for the big wedding... so it can't hurt.
- Figure Out How You're Going To Pop The Question - this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience (hopefully) so it should be meaningful. It can be fun (flash mob), adventurous (helicopter ride), or at home just the two of you. Whatever the case, make it meaningful to you as a couple.
- Words Matter - if planning something is debilitating, focus on what you're trying to say. You want to tell your partner with words why you want to spend the rest of your life together. (I wish I could remember all the mushy stuff he said to me but I was in a haze)
- Get The Ring(s) - you should have a pretty clear idea of what kind of ring your partner wants, or at least their desired stone shape and metal. Many couples choose to get their rings from big box places like Tiffany's or Zales -- and that's totally fine -- but for the guy or gal or has their own personal style, there's nothing like a custom-designed ring. Plus, it could be far less expensive if you go to a local or family jeweler.
- Set A Date & Location - once you have the blessing of your family, and you've got the ring, you want to pick a date and location to pop the question.
- Find A Wedding Or Journalistic Photographer - if you care about having photos like most people today (pics or it didn't happen) you are going to want to find a photographer who understands engagement proposals and can capture the moment from a journalistic perspective. Action shots are the best! You can use an app called Thumbtack to find photographers (or other skilled professionals) in your area.
- Pop The Question!
Again, there's no right or wrong way to get engaged, but if you read this far, I hope these New Rules of Engagement helped! Let me know in the comments about your engagements, proposals, etc. I love love!